


maybe the ghosts learned how to build stairs into the mountainside

by agentofserenity



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Recovery, autistic Jemma Simmons, meltdowns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 06:00:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15212729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentofserenity/pseuds/agentofserenity
Summary: “I couldn’t do it”It’s all her voice says, but it carries a weight that Fitz can easily recognise.Aka. Jemma has a meltdown and Fitz is there to help her pick up the pieces.





	maybe the ghosts learned how to build stairs into the mountainside

Really, he should’ve seen it coming. The signs had been there all day: she was quieter and more withdrawn than usual, picking at her clothing when her mind wandered off whilst she was supposedly paying attention, hands slapping into her shoulder and arm on occasion.

He finds her curled up on the bed, weighted blanket over her slightly shaking form. He can see the blank expression on her face, her body tensed up and he has a good idea of what’s happened. He debates what’s best to do before approaching her gently, his voice soft and quiet as to be respectful of her heightened sensitivities when she’s like this.

“Hey, Jemma?” He calls gently, the girls face remaining stoic. Fitz pauses a moment before trying again, calling her name softly a few more times until she looks up.

“Something happen?” He asks, and waits as her slightly shaky hands move to in front of her, watching carefully as she signs “meltdown” and “embarrassed”. The second comment makes him frown a little before he realises she could misinterpret that as being mad at her when he’s not, he’s only sad that something or someone has made her feel that way about a meltdown which she can’t control. 

“The lab?” He asks, making the sign for “lab” when her eyes look a little confused. She shakes her head so he tries to think of where else she might have encountered a situation that could have potentially triggered her meltdown when she speaks.

“I couldn’t do it” 

It’s all her voice says, but it carries a weight that Fitz can easily recognise. He knows Jemma has been accused in the past of being too cold and clinical, unable to read or feel other people’s emotions, but he knows the truth; that she feels too much. She feels emotions so deeply that they cause waves in her stomach or a tightness in her chest, the feeling rising when others are in danger or hurt or upset. He knows they brought in a body today, an inhuman they couldn’t get to in time before he was murdered. Jemma’s worked with various cadavers before, but only ever in a scientific capacity. They had asked her, since now she had gained a lot of experience with medical situations, to carry out the procedures needed when someone died on their premises. She had seemed fine about it, seeing it as part of the job, but Fitz knew something was off, especially when he heard that Jemma had deferred it to a “qualified” doctor citing her inability to correctly perform the procedures due to a lack of knowledge. That was last night.

She’s mostly stopped shaking now, gripping onto the blanket as if to try and absorb more comfort that way. He falters for only a second before motioning to see if she wants him to lie down with her. Jemma nods, and Fitz carefully climbs up onto the bed, laying next to her but slightly on top of the blanket. He feels her head tuck under his chin, arms slung around him, and he’s just glad he can provide comfort. They sit in comfortable silence for a little while, he makes an effort to keep his breathing calm and well timed so Jemma can follow along and sure enough she slips into the pattern, helping her to calm down almost completely. They’re still in silence when she finally speaks again.

“They’ll be mad at me”

Fitz turns his head just slightly so can he see her face, studying her expression which now has a hint of pain to it. He gently rubs his hand over her shoulder.

“They’ll understand. You know Coulson does, and May and Daisy. They’ll know you did your best and that everyone has limits” Fitz reassured her, though it was true: the whole team had been very accepting and very accommodating of Jemma’s needs wherever possible, though Jemma herself had a hard time believing it since she had never had that before, never had an environment where she felt safe to be herself and accepted and loved for who she was. He’s thinking of ways he can show her that she is safe and is loved when her voices interrupts his thoughts again.

“Fitz?” her voice is soft and unsure, but he turns to look at her with a small smile and some of the tension seems to finally leave her small frame “I just...need to work out this anger”

He nods and carefully stands up, walking over to her chest of drawers and pulling out a durable chew toy from the correct drawer. He turns around again and a small smile tugs at his lips. She’s neatly made the bed, putting the extra cushions back on it from the floor and folding her weighted blanket up neatly at the foot of the bed. She’s now sat there on the edge of the bed, hands picking at her clothes again as she does when they just..need to move. 

He walks back over and smiles, handing over the chew which she gratefully accepts and bites down on hard, aggressive chewing eventually making way to lighter as her hands flap freely and she self soothes to work out the last remaining frustration from the days events. Fitz is sat at her desk, reading. He knows that though she’s said she doesn’t mind him watching, it’s better for her to just stim freely as she needs and know he’s still there in room, he can help with his presence rather than having to actually do anything. It’s just how they work.


End file.
